Trailer by the Lake

Non-Dairy Creamers lyrics still not complete

Trailer by the Lake

Let's got to my trailer by the lake/ And drink Old Crow til our livers break;

Take off our clothes, make some mistakes/ In that old trailer by the lake;

My buddy at the Grange Hall/ Servin up that low grade alcohol;

Get a deal on some Black Label/ Drink on the way out behind the stable;

By the time we get to my trailer,

Better off just callin the jailer;

Maybe we'll just fish til we drop;

Like two pigs in their own slop;

Got a .22 and an ATV/ Go on an all-night poachin spree;

We'll talk about life drunk to the gills/ Keep an eye open for some animals to kill;

I know where we can steal a tractor/ Shrug it off, say booze was a factor;

Level condos built by yuppies/ Wipe out their pure bred puppies;

In this word there just ain't enough room/ For me and my tractor of doom;

I'm too much for the local coppers/ Going down with a rocket from a chopper.

You Went Punk

I still recall the time we got drunk/ You told me you were going punk

You went punk! I thought it stunk!

You went punk! What was that junk?

I was worried about Saturday night/ You were guilty of being white;

I was working at the ice cream shop/ You were tending to your new mohawk

JFA! No way!

The Meat Men! You can't defend!

Black Flag! Thought they were fags!

But Fear, no they weren't queer!

I never thought you were astute/ But your punk rock girls were kinda cute;

I wore a letterman's, you wore a leather/ My mom called and said we couldn't play together

The DKs! They could not play!

And DRI! My my my!

You went punk! I thought it stunk!

You went punk! What was that junk!

Little did I know/ I was in danger

Spending my nights rockin out to Night Ranger

Flying V and a Pentagram

Flying V and a pentagram/ 6-6-6 and a bloody lamb;

Laying down the metal like a wig wam bam/ Living my life like it's worth a damn.

Flying V and a Marshall stack/ Line of meth and a bong of whack;

In the garage, loud as the Lord/ Playing the same three power chords;

Flying V wrote "Bucket of Blood"/ Sure fire hit turned out to be a dud;

I've got another tune in the pike/ But all my song's kinda sound alike;

Meet me tonight out on the roof/ I'll be the one with the cloven hoof;

Doing what we want, not what we should/ You gotta be bad to know what's good.

Lonely at Nine

Lonely at 9 years/ Well hung at 12;

Girlies wouldn't touch me/ You could say life was hell;

In love at 13/ After the dance;

Out behind the snack shack/ My hand down your pants;

Tried to wash up/ But love always lingers;

Heart broke by 14/ Now I'm a country singer.

[can't remember title]

Hey Tipper! I buy music for minors!

It was July 4th/ I was freezing outdoors;

Chilled to the bone by bad gin;

I tried reading the Bible/ Just for survival/

But none of it seemed to sink in;

So I called up my dad/ I said "Man I feel bad;"

He said "Sit down and don't make a scene;"

Then he said "Son, I didn't wanna be the one

To tell you it runs in the genes."

(Matt's rant; I'll have to listen to it)

[can't remember title]

Fuckin was pretty fun in high school,

Good way to stay warm and be cool;

Sneaking to your grandma's house at lunch,

Looking for something good to much;

I don't remember but I got a hunch;

That you meant it when you said "Thanks a bunch."

But now love ain't no fun,

'Cos when I'm through, I ain't done;

Sometimes I'd rather be staring at the sun,

Then looking down the barrel of a honey bun;

Pharmacology at 18,

A mindblowing, whole new scene;

Out in the woods, tripping around;

Up all night, without any downs;

Watching TV with Mary Jane,

Seeing my brain through a window pane;

But now my mind's got me scared,

'Cos now I know what's really there,

And now intoxication's rare,

'Cos it's a high stakes game of truth or dare;

Work was no big deal in 10th grade,

Stand around, clock out and get paid;

All my money on gas and beer;

Empty pockets, empty fear;

From Friday to Monday I was free;

And mom and dad gave me a place to pee.

But now real life done did do me;

Now my money just flows right through me;

Now service charges and one time fees;

Have brought an honest man to his knees.

Now well now ain't then;

How now brown cow remember when;

Kung pow, dog chow, Sherily Phen Phen

Bow wow, mad cow, real men play on 10!

I Just Do More of What I Do

Every day when I get up,

I wanna try something new;

Every day I give up;

And just do more of what I do.

I just do more of what I do,

No change, no breaks,

Nothing new,

Just a big stack of days that I've lived through.

Drinking coffee, watching the tube;

I blew 20 bucks at a Jiffy Lube;

I'm way past being subdued,

Just doing more of what I do.

Spent my life with the same old crew,

Spent my time with nothing to do,

Spent my mornings feeling blue,

Sent my wife for a tube of glue.

Goat Cheese and Beer (Geit Ost og Ol)

Often Bunkum travels from town to town

In Mercedes financed by government cash;

We satisfy the wives of free market reformers;

While the capitalists sleep, dreaming of whores.

Goat cheese and beer, goat cheese and beer;

All that we eat is goat cheese and beer.

We have seen strange things in the Norse woods;

Such as teenage girls coupling with acquatic mammels,

For instance, the manatee;

We have also seen a fourth grader vomit into his shirt.

Geit ost og ol, geit ost og ol,

Bare Norske order Bunkum vet er geit ost og ol.

[Tr: Goat cheese and beer, goat cheese and beer,

The only Norwegian words Bunkum knows are goat cheese and beer.]

So when Bunkum comes to your town,

Trade in your stocks for cash and bonds;

We have the power to de-stabilize the world economy;

We also have the power to make riot grrls let us work as their pimps.