Lyrics

 

Sixx Sixx Stixx

 

  I say I won’t do ya/ You say  "Hallelujah"/ It’s just a load offa yer mind/

 Let’s go huff some gas/ And stick things up our ass/ I’ve got a crayon hidden up there/

 I live my life for metal/ But for reggae I may settle/

 Cause if you’re buying/ And loading the pipe/ I may even swallow though you ain’t my type/

 

 Six six six/ I’m living in the stixx/

 Milkin lots of cows/ Just like Nikki Sixx/

 Three three three/ Take a look at me/

 My step brother says/ I’m hung like Tommy Lee/

 

 [Stuff Japanese girls don’t normally say]

 

 Cough syrup trippin/ Late night cow tippin/ Another night in the hood/

 If you lick my boot/ I just might shoot/ It ’s just more wasted hard wood.

 

Poo Poo Pee Pee

 

Your sh*t don’t stink/ It’s pretty and pink/ And flowers they grow out the top;

Girls I know don’t understand/ That my morning sh*t shake’s gotta lotta vitamins oh ya;

I don’t have toilet paper/ I gotta tongue/ I can’t lick my own ass/ That ain’t no fun;

Poo poo and pee pee oh ya.

 

Sit on my face with your special place/ You had corn for dinner/ Is that steak I taste;

It don’t come from a package/ It don’t come from a can/

Put a bow on that load, it’s a Christmas ham;

Poo poo and pee pee oh ya.

 

Now a golden shower/ Now that’s dessert/ You drank a lot of coffee you nasty flirt;

A trickle or a flow/ I don’t know/ Put it in a jar and I’ll take it to go;

Poo Poo and Pee pee oh ya,

 

At the old folks I’m making friends/ An untapped goldmine of loaded Depends;

I’d re‑route the sewer if I only knew how/ Oh the poop would flow from the whole damn town;

Poo poo and pee pee oh ya.

 

It’s a tasty appetizer/ A pungent dessert/ Pass the Ritz crackers with Hershey squirts;

Peanuts and corn not the best I’ve worn/ Broccolli and cheese a brown child is born;

Poo poo and pee pee oh ya.

 

 

Grandpa’s In The Basement

 

Grandpa’s down in the basement/ Wearing grandma’s gloves/

Grandpa’s down in the basement/ Saying "Hugs not drugs;"

 

Trick or treat, mystery meat/ Christmas Easter ham;

Fight or flight, wrong or right/ A camera man named Sam;

 

Lionel trains, toy airplanes/ TV’s, bean bags too;

Secanol, Rohipnol, Motrin, model glue;

 

Neighbors don’t know/ Cops won’t show/ Grandma just don’t care;

She says "It keeps him at home and he leaves me alone, so get your ass downstairs."

 

 

13 Beers

 

Wake me up if I start to snore/ We’re going down to the general store;

Buyin up the things for the misses to wear/ Lacie little things that show her hair;

 

Lookin for job but I’m drunk by lunch/ At the school prom I spiked the punch;

Polished up the Chevy fer a Sunday ride/ Hopin that the Sheriff don’t smell inside;

 

13 beers and a can of chew/ Let’s scoop the loop and do the Bessy Lou;

13 beers and a can of chew/ Let’s scoop the loop and do the Bessy Lou;

 

First she said no but then she said yes/ Didn’t know I hurt her but my best was too best;

Had a bad heart don’t blame me/ All I know is happy hour starts at 3;  

 

Sodomy laws don’t bother me much/ Pleasin to the smell, pleasin to the touch;

No matter what they say a steer don’t talk/ They can’t sit down but they still can walk

 

 

Just Another Day

 

It’s just another day/ Lotta fools, no AK;

White boy in sneakers/ No homies, just some tweakers;

 

Was your love enough?/ I guess with double stuff;

I wanna roller skate/ You said "Now don’t be late;"

 

Give me the goat cheese/ You take the Chinese;

Spending our time singing bout dirty knees;

You take the wheel/ I’ll take the back seat;

You take us up and I’ll hit delete.

 

It’s just another night/ One dollar bum fight;

It’s just another life/ You’re just another wife;

 

Give me the goat cheese/ You take the Chinese;

Spending our time singing bout dirty knees;

You take the wheel/ I’ll take the back seat;

You take us up and I’ll hit delete

 

Here we go once again/ Is it the start or the start of the end?

Here we go one more time/ Kinda fucked up and kinda straight line;

 

It’s just an acid trip/ It’s just a fat lip;

It’s just the end of time/ Another stupid rhyme.

 

 

Vaccinated Tonight

 

Kissin spread germs and germs are hated,

So kiss me baby, I’m vaccinated tonight;

Touchin spreads germs and germs are hated,

So touch me baby, I’m vaccinated tonight;

 

Golden showers spread germs and germs are hated,

So piss on me I’m vaccinated tonight.

 

 

Hairi Legged Shari’s Pajama Jamboree

 

Hairi legged Shari sold me incense yesterday/ With her teeth missing in the asphalt;

The beginning of the people’s revolution;

 

She likes her busses German/ Braids the hairi legged legs;

Finding the rope adequate/ Hemp hewn and home made;

We talked about the future for the children and the baby Jesus;

 

Her livelihood was not gainly employment/ But wild eyed fantasies not realized in this vision;

The painful sorrow of the unwed/ A dirty spot, an unkempt head;

 

Licorice sweaty gum drops/ And whiskey candy canes;

 Artichokes and cigarettes/ That hippy tumble weed;

 

Summer Jesus symphony/ And quartz so fiery;

Muffins filed with hash oil/ And Boon’s Farm strawberry;

 

Kiss me on the Milky Way/ Our hearts in rhapsody;

Touch me in the bath tub/ Your pajama jamboree;

 

Dandelion candy cane/ What’s your middle name/

Dandelion "callndy" cane/ And I’ve got yours to blame.

 

 

Iraqi Massive

 [wherein our heroes explore the possibility of turning Iraq into one big dance floor for the kids]:

 

 Ah,  salem aleikum/ Some e‑bombs they’re a takin/

 At the Saddam airport/ Where raving is the import/

Your dance floors are too crowded/ Your bitches are all shrouded/

 Dick Cheney penny savin/ We’re rolling in some pavement/

 Blowin dough on missles/ The Hummer twizzle izzle/

 A glow stick in my gun sight/ That raver had a bad night/

 We’ll open up your market/ Here’s my car go park it/

 We’ll give you 50 channels/ Smoke these look their camels/

 Osama Saddam Sharon/ Got Dub‑ya on the bat phone/

 It’s Fannie Mae a‑callin/ And interest rates ain’t fallin/

 Viagra Dole’s erection/ Won’t save the next election/

 Condoleeza spank me honey/ Wantin value for my money.

 

 

Workin Moms Need Milkin

 

Hey there lawyer lady/ Man you sher good lookin/

Hey there corporate honey/ You should be home a‑cookin;

 

Lips of ruby/ My high heeled beauty;

Minds that matter/ It’s corporate splatter;

 

Hey there doctor mama/ How bout drop that drama;

Come a long way baby/ Ok, ya, well maybe;

 

I need a hand/ To work this land;

Fix this wreck/ With your welfare check;

It’s new enjoyment/ It’s called unemployment;

Liquidate that pension/ And ease our marital tension.

 

 

Maggie May

 

Wake up faggot I think I got something to say to you

It’s late September and I really should be back at school

I know I keep you amused but I feel I’m being used

Oh faggot I couldn’t have tried any more

You lured me away from home with stories of Sly Stallone

You stole my heart and that’s what really hurt

The morning sun when it’s in your face really shows you’re gay

But that don’t bother me none in my eyes you’re everything

I laughed at all of your jokes my love you didn’t need to coax

Oh, faggot I couldn’t have tried any more

You lured me away from home just to save you from being alone

You stole my soul and that’s a pain I can do without

All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand

But you turned into a lover and Brother what a lover, you wore me out

All you did was wreck my bed And in the morning kick me in the head

Oh faggot I couldn’t have tried anymore

You lured me away from home ’cause you don’t wanna work out alone

You stole my heart I couldn’t leave you if I tried

I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school

Or get my body waxed and hang out by the pool

Or find myself a rock and roll band in need of a thirsty man

Oh faggot I wish I’d never seen your face

You made a first‑class fool out of me But I’m as blind as a fool can be

You stole my heart I love you anyway

Oh faggot I wish I’d never seen your face

I’ll get on back home one of these days

 

 

Nor Cal Gangsta

 

All these playas they frontin/ I’m the nigga with the Garth Brooks bumpin/

Some fool tryin to tell me where it’s at/ I gotta bandana on my cowboy hat–please;

 

You frontin with that low car jive/ I’ll run over in my four wheel drive;

Think you a man talkin bout sellin rock/ Have you ever seen a horse’s cock‑‑please;

 

I’m livin a country life/ I’m fuckin my fat ass wife;

Nor Cal niggas they got my back/ Crystal meth, not some pussy ass crack;

 

I’m a Nor Cal gangsta/ I’m a hick not a muthafuckin banga/

Reba makes me hard/ And a few family members in the back of my car;

 

You think it’s tough growin up in your hood/ I got Jesus tellin me I’m no good;

You think it’s tough slingin rock on the corner/ Try lifting mommy’s money while you bone her.

10 million bruthas and still you fussin/ I got two sisters and some fine ass cousins.

 

 

Taliban Man

 

Follow the law, work when I can

Bring home the rice, that came from Japan

Beat up my wife, for showing some tan

I’m a Taliban Man

 

I’m gonna fly away to a distant land

US of A but I don’t wanna land

Aim at the White House, there’ll be no demands

I’m a Taliban Man

 

I’m a Taliban Man, Taliban Man

Western world just don’t understand

Kalashnikov gripped in my hand

I’m a Taliban Man

 

Shoot at some plane, shoot a white man

Comb out my beard, I’m not African

I know a tall man who puts cash in my can

I’m a Taliban Man

 

They say Usama’s dead but I don’t understand

Drive into town with a bomb in my van

Blew some infadels’ brains into the sand

I’m a Taliban Man

Yeah, Holy Jihad, Yee Hah!

 

I’m a Taliban Man, Taliban Man

Western world just don’t understand

Kalashnikov gripped in my hand

I’m a Taliban Man

 

 

The Holocaust

 

One night I was feelin’ alright

At the party I was doin’ fine

I heard a little crash, saw a little flash

On a hotdog I began to dine

 

Seems the Ruskies had too many brewskies

And the button they did push

Said to my friends “Looks like the end”

“We’re all gonna turn to mush!”

 

It’s gonna be the Holocaust

Oh Yes - Oh No, the Holocaust

I’m going to ride the mushroom cloud

Oh Yes - Oh No, I feel so proud

 

Radiation glasses on, staring at the new red dawn

Each of us… is a man

I can’t believe it’s me, I’m dying for the country

I’m going to be the proof

I’ll vaporize

I’ll condensize

I’ll drip down from the roof

 

It’s gonna be the Holocaust

Oh Yes - Oh No, the Holocaust

I’m going to ride the mushroom cloud

Oh Yes - Oh No, I feel so proud